"I thought we were going around to Juicy Lucy’s place?"
"Will her friend Mertyl will be there?"
"Mertyl?"
"Yeah, you remember her? Mertyl the turtle, roll her on her back and she helpless..."

"A song named "Track 1"? awesome!!"

"No, we only take cash sir".... "What is this cash’? i’ll trade you a cow"... "I'm afraid we only accept pigs"

"I am the eggman. Want to feel my eggs?"

"Totally Bullwinkled man"

"80’s style...oooooh yeh"

"Awesome! Moosed! To the max! Awesomely moosed to the max, like totally dude..."

"I just throw everything in and taste test along the way, usually make it ridiculously strong"

"Awesome, If your mum was a folk singing lesbian, then she would be (name deleted…)"

"We should become a seedy jazz band. With jessica Rabbit as our lead singer... Woof!"

"The Matriarch can suck my balls"

"I think we should write a set list as we are standing on stage, and you guys are tuning, that would be a good time. Or even halfway through the 1st song...."

"We like to thank our SUPPORT band for supporting us"

"Yeah since the  'Great Debacle of the Threesome Rejection', I gotta do my part for the bands rawk n rawwl image..."

" I just hide up the back behind all the cymbals so I can look cool and pick up chicks!"

"Well, since a secret handshake is required, and you two think there is no secret handshake, and since you won't know what the secret handshake is that's required to pass the "Secret Handshake Shake Test", and pass through into the secret handshake-handshake zone, I believe you will need to learn the secret handshake so when the test is given you will know the secret handshake required for the handshake test..."

'It is easier for the eye of a needle to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to enter the Magpies footy club...'

'James writes great lyrics, just like these.'
Last time I saw her
she was waving me goodbye
so a ner ner ner I had another drink
So I took a plane
ba ba da de da da
da da da de da da da daaaaaa...
'See, deep. Very deep... and meaningful. In fact, meaningful in a very deep way, kind of....'

'That works for me on a megaliminal level...'

'I think the next album should be called THE FELDONS ARE GOOD SO BUY IT YOU SQUEEZER HEADED NOOBS! Or at least, something equally subtle...'

'This afternoon, at about 4.30, the greatest record ever made in the entire history of everything about records and great things, will be delivered to a printer and copier sort of guy.'
'Sooooo, when are you taking ours in?'

'Is everyone in this town named Charlene or Bruce?'

'With the new binge drinking guidelines kids are going to stop drinking beer and that means they'll all grow up to become social democrats or civil libertarians. And this is not a good thing.'

'It might sound like shit, but then again, it could be brilliant! '

'I remember a time - long ago when you couldn't move for circus tents! Now its all OH&S and animal rights. Gone are the days when you could cart an African elephant around in a standard box-trailer.'

'Hagging' doesn't sounds like much fun!' 
'Didn't that happen to James in Wagga?' 
'Ewwww I hope he didn't catch anything.'
'No, I was pre-hagged.'

'There once was a crazy old geezer
who kept 300 cats in his freezer
He said to the Bill, they're from my wife Jill
I put 'em in there just to tease her'"

'It's a tough job putting together a random set of shots into some kind of cohesive package. All comments and criticisms greatly received.'

'That's showbiz.....one minute you're bigger than jesus, the next you're down on the docks blowing sailors for small change.'  

'She (Barbara Feldon) is one of the hottest chicks to ever grace a television set.'

'Did Mike Nesmith ever invent an exploding whiteout?' 

'I must say your towel folding is some of the best I've ever seen.' 

'You'll never believe what I just got asked.'

'My shoes are sticky.'

'Let's explore Wagga by rooftop.'

'Bloody Wagga rush hour. Where's our police escort?'

'The other thing we considered was to do the rock 'n' roll thing and throw the tv in the pool at our hotel - We didn't think that would be too well received by hotel management and so considered throwing just the remote control in - again we baulked at that. Next time we are going to take our own remote (pre-purchased at clints crazy bargains) and throw that in the pool. We will then fish it out so as not to litter.......Rock 'n' Roll.'

'I'd like to extend my thanks to all involved in The Feldons juggernaut for taking time out to load a truckload of gear in to play music to an empty tent. Particular thanks go to those band members whose equipment was soaked with beer. I look forward to refusing to play at a work christmas party ever again.'